To be who we really are

Who am I, really. Who are you? When does one ever really know? Some spend life on a task to find their true self. To understand them self completely. Knowledge of self allows us to work within our strengths, resolve conflicts before they develop and be kind to ourselves.This task is noble and admired. What happens when someone knows about themselves but chooses misinformation to justify their behavior? Yes, this happens daily. Possibly examples of those close to you flow into your thoughts. And I am proposing that each of us has a 'justification' for how we act that does not hold water in the light of day. This is not a treaty imploring you to spend years digging deep in to the crevasses of your life so you can live a pure life. But to a lesser degree, attend to the aspects that hurt others. Our mind, specifically the part of our thinking that embodies the perception of ourselves, is masterful at protecting us from thinking that what we choose to do will hurt others. To this end, we can embrace great falsehood, which then harms those we draw to ourselves. The pain we cause others is not a conscious attempt, but pain is an unavoidable outcome. So, how then do we solve this problem. The solution may take serious discussions with others who have left you. It may take the form of sessions with an unbiased listener that poses questions about actions and behavior. It may be the result of study and long walks in the woods. But I fear that we are creatures that protect our idea about how life should run and protect our image of an ideal self so well that many will not think this journey is necessary. Therefore, it is up to each of us to remain trusting of others while remaining aware that the person is also trying to put their best 'front' forward. Trust but verify, as the saying goes. This is a mature way to accept and love others for whom they really are.