Reflections....
Do people change or do they stay the same? Well, in what way do you look at change. I dreamt last night about a college reunion. My, how I have changed since then!! Or have I? The situations of my late teens and early twenty's are certainly not the same as now. Responsibilities and jobs have drastically changed. However, what seemed to be my greatest personal flaw at 20 is now a source of great success in my life. What changed? Not my personality trait, but how I apply that trait. My modus operandi  is accept people for who they are. What their needs are, are just that - THEIR needs, not mine. However, in my 20's this approach lead to a lot of personal pain. Those close to me chose to do things that were emotionally and psychologically painful to me. No, there was not physical or mental abuse. There was a thought that by allowing these people to do what they needed, I was in some way inferior and didn't deserve to be taken care of. Well, time heals all wounds, as they cliche goes. Through  each successive relationship, I grew stronger and more aware that those who chose to do things that hurt me do not need to be close to me. I can accept their way of being, but I don't have to experience it personally. Full circle, this lesson now is played out by my harping on the person most close to me about behaviors that I don't appreciate. I still accept everyone for their idiosyncrasies, but I refuse to allow hurtful ones in my most intimate relationship. At this point I have recognized that my 'self-preservation' skills mixed with 40 something hormonal changes have lead me to a life of constant bitching. Have I changed? No. Have I learned from life? Yes. Have I taken that lesson to the extreme? YES! But the beauty of life is that reunions (in dreams or in reality) can teach one a lot about one's self.