What is age?

How old are you? A question asked of most people under the age of 15. Then casual friends quit asking and the question is left to the realm of older relatives. We are happy to announce particular birthdays such as 16 (ability to drive) and 21 (ability to drink, rent a car and be treated like an adult...ok, 2 out of the 3). After 21 our society encourages us to shelter our age, look younger than we are, but act as if we don't care. Recently I was in a conversation about the death of an 82 year old - car accident. "She was so young and vital" came from the mouth of my 81 year-old conversation partner. Yes, age is relative! A recent High School reunion helped me see that we all look about the same as way back when. Well, of course! Our facial bone structure has not changed unless some tragic accident had occurred. Some of us lost weight, most of us gained weight. Those that smoke or tanned show signs of skin damage - to be expected. So why all the worry about attending reunions? Why all the secrecy about our age? If you have any faith in physics, you know there is time. The clock is always ticking. Possibly it is the uneasy feelings concerning the future that makes age so daunting. What will the future hold? We are creatures that have the brain capacity to know there is a future and to express concerns about what will meet us there. "It could always be worse!" was a concern shared with me about a new boss. Wow! Each birthday must bring a need to order a higher dose of Adavn if each new thing could bring pending doom. But is the future really worse than the present? Yes, challenges come with living. I would pose that age brings experience, which if processed with a desire to learn, brings wisdom. So is the fear of age the acknowledgment that we are not learning from our life experiences? A fear that we are not truly living? Has it ever been posed this way? Surely it has. So life is full of challenges, as we age we can develop an ability to identify the challenge and use our wisdom to choose a solution, then learn from that solution. Without the constant surprise of life, we do not grow and we do not become wise. I look forward to aging. To the point where I can look back through my life, identify the challenge, the lesson learned and how that lesson helped me grow. Therefore, one is not growing older and closer to death, one is actually growing closer to understanding life!

Where does one belong?

Do we have a perfect place to be? Is there a town or state or country that feels like home? Some cannot imagine being anywhere but where they are born or where they went to college, or where they landed a job. Others have the opposite reaction. 'I don't belong here. I don't thing I belong anywhere'. That is what he said sitting on the hill looking over the new town. Some times it is hard to get to the place that one belongs. 'I am through with this town, I decided to move and now I have to go.' That is what she said when she sold her life possessions to afford the move. Some sit somewhere between these extremes, in the 'what if' of life. Others in 'I had always dreamed of' land. Why the unrest? Why the object resistance to change on the other hand? What does it mean to belong? Where do we belong?  The perfect place? Well, one could drive ones self to the brink striving for the perfect residence in the perfect town. When have you felt the most at home? What about when you are talking to family and friends? When have they sounded like they truly belong. This journeyman has not found the perfect structure or community that generates peace, belonging and happiness. After all, why are mansions sometimes described as cold and hollow and shacks as warm and cozy when many societies try to tell us the opposite is true? But what about the cliche 'home is where the heart is'? Could it be that where we belong comes from our heart, our soul, ourselves? When one finally sees one self and is content with what they see. An HBO show 'Six feet under' episode had Ruth's sister say that she was content...happy lead to too much expectation. Is anyone truly content with their lives these days? The media streams messages of new and improved items that we must have. You can't really be reaching the American Dream if you are not in a big house with a big car and a big credit card debt because you just purchased the latest big screen, 3-D, blue ray, plasma TV (and the new console to store it in). Is that really the American Dream? Wake up! The dream is alive in the freedom to become our true selves. Pursue the career we want, make enough money to support ourselves and our families and to be able to enjoy our lives. The key being that we belong to no other but ourselves. This leads to a self-esteem that comes from good work that we chose to do. And finally, a contentment that is not based in giving up something but becoming all we dreamed we could be. Where does one belong? One belongs when one is able to see that they are the person they always wanted to be. No town or townhouse will provide it, it must come from within.

You get what you want when you truly want it.

How many things do you want to accomplish? There is a list in everyone's mind. Whether it be love, money, success, or friendship (or a particular B.M.I. and cholesterol count) we have goals and desires. Why do some of these seem to never come to fruition? We strive, we apply, we strategize...but to no avail. But are these things we TRULY want? Are they things that we think we need? Are they things that others have convinced us that we need? The reason why an item is desired will give much insight to the availability of that item. Personally, I want to floss after each meal. If I want this so badly...then why don't I carry floss with me wherever I go? What is the true reason I want to floss? Is it because I loathe the tone of my dental hygienist when she is scraping my teeth? Hardly a motivation to start flossing! I see her twice a year. Justification for leaving out the consistent flossing the 5 months between visits is just too easy! I don't really want to floss 3 times a day, I just want my hygienist to stop picking on me, literally. Another goal of mine is healthy eating. Convenience food, adieu. Oh, but the smell of those burgers and fries and the cool allure of the soft serve frozen custard would call to me. Recently I purchased a home with the perfect kitchen. Cooking is a breeze in my 'u' shaped counter top, multiple storage cabinet, kitchen. Homemade bread, scones, cakes, pies, pasta, and chicken soup streams out of the space with plenty of wholesome smells to trail behind. Organic vegetables, fruits, beans and whole grains are brought in from the local store and turned into filling and satisfying meals. What a dream come true! Along with this reality comes a healthier body, mind and better numbers on the scale. It is something desired that would not have happened until I was ready to truly want it. Nothing forced upon or brought about through scolding or self-hatred.      This is not to say that your dreams will come true once you can purchase that item (in this case a house) that will make it easy for you. Plenty of exercise treadmills, home gyms and stationary bikes to the contrary.  Also, this is not to dismiss life-threatening circumstances that can cause drastic changes in behavior.  But if one does not want to go to this extreme before they make a long-desired change, the best plan may be to take it easy. First, examine the reason for what you want. Why is it important? Second, try to take the path of self encouragement and support instead of yelling at yourself. When have you been truly inspired to accomplish something because someone yelled at you? Third, when your dream comes into being, enjoy it! Reward yourself with positive thoughts. Other rewards will follow, don't forget to celebrate them too!!

The first part of the journey

Journey to the center and beyond is a space to record insights, actions and reactions to a life's journey. The one walking this journey is not young but not old either. There are may wishes to be fulfilled, many amazing adventures already had and much understanding sought. Part of the inspiration for this journey is the wisdom of a grandmother who seemed to see through ones facade to the problem weighing on the soul. The journeyman admired this wisdom and was inspired to find the source. But it is not so easy or fast.